Negotiating with an eight year old today on what to wear. I would like her to wear a dress for picture day. She wants to wear overalls today. I tell her I would prefer that she wear a dress. After she tells me that she is a “tom boy”, I think about whether or not she really understands what a “tom boy” is. I let her know that I understand.
She has a friend that is a “tom boy”. She adores her friends. We end up compromising on her outfit. I told her that she can dress just about any way she would like with exceptions. I want her to express herself. However, I want her to know that she does not have to be like everyone else. She can find her own style. It is okay to be unique. If she wants to wear pink high tops with a dress, that is fine by me.
She can wear her jeans, shorts, and t-shirts on any other day. I just wanted to have a picture of her in a nice dress. When she picked out her outfit, I complimented her on it. My youngest daughter wanted her hair like her big sister with the side shaved. I asked my daughter if she wanted it because other people have it or she truly wants to have that hair style.
While my kids are under my influence, I like to teach them that we all have a tendency to want to belong to something. However, when we try to be like everyone else, just to fit in, we can suffer. I want my girls to feel free to picture themselves as the unique individuals they are and express it. I want to challenge them to be originals. Why be a copy cat?